웨딩 칼럼

A personality that feels like hell to one person can feel like love to someone else.

“The man I’m seeing tells me not to take dance classes, even though I enjoy them. He also wants me to stop contacting a male classmate from college whom I’ve been close to for more than ten years. Whether it’s a coworker or a friend, he doesn’t like me meeting any man at all.”

This was the complaint of a woman who had been in a relationship for about three months.

The two of them had seemed like a good match in many ways: age, family background, overall impression, and religion. Sparks flew from the first meeting, and they quickly began dating.

But after listening to the woman’s story, it was clear that the man was highly controlling. In the end, they broke up. A matchmaking membership period is one year, so when a relationship ends during that period, another introduction has to be arranged.

Matchmakers cannot know everything about a member’s personality or tendencies from the beginning. But after some time, a clearer picture emerges, because feedback from the people they have met begins to accumulate.

The matchmaker in charge of this man lost confidence about introducing him again. The image of him as a “very controlling man,” based on what his former girlfriend had said, had already settled in her mind.

Then what kind of woman would suit this man?

Matchmakers collect meeting episodes every single day. Unusual stories come in often.

One day, another matchmaker brought up some special feedback about a female member.

She was the type of woman who called and texted constantly once she started seeing a man. The more meetings they had, the more her interference reached an almost unhealthy level.

If the man replied even a little late or could not be reached, his KakaoTalk and phone would be flooded that day with missed calls and messages from her. The matchmaker’s evaluation was blunt.

“This woman could clearly become someone with severe suspicion and possessiveness in a relationship.”

What kind of man should be introduced to her?

At that moment, one idea came to mind.

“What if we introduced her to that controlling man from earlier?”

One matchmaker laughed and said,

“If those two meet, will they exhaust each other, or will they actually like each other a lot?”

Another matchmaker replied,

“At least they won’t fight because one person doesn’t answer the phone. They’ll both be calling each other nonstop.”

Everyone laughed.

But then, strangely enough, it began to seem that they might actually match. We changed the person in charge to a new matchmaker who had no prejudice about either of them. Then we introduced the two.

The man hated the idea of the woman showing interest in other men. The woman liked a man who continued to show interest in her.

To other people, both of them could be exhausting.

But to each other, they might have been surprisingly compatible.

One person’s control could be felt by the other as attention, and one person’s possessiveness could be accepted by the other as love.

So we introduced them.

What happened in the end?

Unfortunately, the data on that couple no longer remains. The matchmaker who was in charge has also left the company. So I do not know what became of the two.

Still, strangely enough, the memory of having introduced those two people to each other remains with me even now.

 

Woon Jin Lee

CEO, Couple.net

 

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