웨딩 칼럼

One of the questions I hear most often from people preparing for remarriage in their 50s is this:

"How much should I really know about the other person's financial situation?"

Health matters. Family matters.

Whether their children are independent or still living with them matters.

It is also important to talk about the kind of life you hope to build together.

But if I had to choose one area that deserves the most careful attention, it would be finances.

There is a big difference between someone who says they are financially stable and someone who truly is.

Before making a lifelong commitment, you should understand how a person earns, spends, and manages money.

Do they carry significant debt?

Are they financially responsible?

Do they live within their means?

This is not about looking for someone wealthy.

People with modest means can build happy and fulfilling marriages.

What concerns me is not a lack of money, but a lack of honesty.

After 35 years of helping people find life partners, I have noticed one pattern again and again.

Those facing serious financial difficulties are sometimes the very ones who exaggerate their financial status the most.

Years ago, we had a male member who claimed to own assets worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

Based on what he told us, we introduced him to several women.

After those meetings, however, the feedback we received was remarkably consistent.

"Mr. Lee, he doesn't seem anything like the person you described."

We looked into the matter more carefully and discovered that his claims were far from the truth.

In the end, we had no choice but to terminate his membership.

The opposite can also happen.

I have met women who made an excellent first impression—graceful, elegant, and well put together.

Yet some were quietly struggling with overwhelming credit card debt.

That is why I always give my members the same advice.

Pay attention to how a person lives, not just to what they say.

Have a meal together.Spend time over coffee.

Watch how they treat other people, how they spend money, whether they keep small promises, and whether they are honest about their circumstances.

Those ordinary moments reveal far more than polished words ever will.

There is one experience I have never forgotten.

More than thirty years ago, I organized a remarriage event that brought together over 200 men and women.

At the time, remarriage was still something many people hesitated to discuss openly, yet the room was filled with people hoping for a second chance at happiness.

One woman met a man at that event, trusted him completely, and eventually used her home as collateral to guarantee his debt.

Not long afterward, the man disappeared.

She lost the home she had spent a lifetime building.

Even today, I still think about her.

Had she taken a little more time... had she verified just a little more... that tragedy might have been avoided.

I often tell my members this:

Relationships are not a world filled only with beautiful dreams. There are hidden minefields as well.

But that does not mean we should stop meeting people.

It simply means we should learn where the risks are before we take the next step.

Verifying someone's financial situation is not about suspicion.

It is about protecting the future you hope to build together.

Finding a good person is important.

But before anything else, make sure that person is someone you can truly trust.

 

Woon Jin Lee

CEO, Couple.net