“What Is the Problem in Finding a Marriage Partner for My Son?”
A father called and asked me a difficult question.
“What is the problem in finding a marriage partner for my son?”
His son graduated from a prestigious university in the United States, completed medical school,
and is now a highly paid professional working on the West Coast.
He owns a good home, has a pleasant appearance,
and comes from a strong family background.
The father himself is also a successful businessman.
He has lived a diligent and accomplished life, and he raised both of his sons well.
On the surface, nothing seems to be missing. And yet, marriage has not been easy.
We introduced several potential matches.
Some were declined. Some were women his son liked. But the relationships did not continue.
The issue was not that the son lacked qualifications.
He was born in 1990.
He is well educated, successful, attractive, and fully capable of meeting a good partner.
Naturally, he deserves to meet someone good.
But this is where spouse selection becomes most difficult.
When a man who appears almost perfect wants a woman who also appears almost perfect,
the age gap and real-life conditions are not as easy to narrow as people may think.
The father may say, “If my son likes her, I am fine with anyone.”
But the son has a different standard from the father.
The father may look at family background, upbringing, and home environment.
But the son first looks at age, appearance, attraction, and feeling.
The challenge is that the kind of “perfect woman” his son hopes to meet often does not want a large age gap either.
It may seem that a son from a good family, with a good education and a good career, would have an easier time choosing a spouse.
In reality, it can be more difficult.
The more someone has achieved, the higher the expectations often become.
Parents want a good daughter-in-law. The son wants a woman who makes his heart move.
A couple manager looks at whether the two people can actually choose each other.
These three standards are not always the same.
In matchmaking, the most important question is not who has better conditions.
The real question is this: Can these two people actually choose each other?
I answered the father over the phone.
“Your son’s achievements are so outstanding that the match becomes more difficult.”
Even today, I am still looking for the right partner for this son.
Woon Jin Lee
CEO, Couple.net
