웨딩 칼럼

In 35 years of arranging meetings for more than 170,000 single men and women, I have encountered countless stories that could easily become the subject of a movie or drama.

There is one story I still remember even after many years. It happened when Sunoo had an office in Sinsa-dong, Gangnam. A man and a woman came in together, and the man paid the woman’s membership fee on her behalf.

At first, I thought he was an older brother trying to help his younger sister get married. But as the consultation continued, I realized something unexpected. The two of them were a recently divorced couple.

“She followed me to the United States when I went there to study and supported me for years. Thanks to her, I earned my Ph.D. and became a professor at an American university.”

While the husband became a doctor and then a professor, the wife’s life had not changed much from the time she first went to America.

The husband kept growing, while the wife could not shake the feeling that her own life had remained still. Eventually, she asked for a divorce. The husband understood how she felt, and he also felt sorry toward her. So he decided to support her new beginning.

Wanting his ex-wife to be happy, he personally brought her to a matchmaking company and even paid her membership fee.

“It is not as if I can find her remarriage partner myself. If I do not do this, I think she may never even consider remarriage and just live alone.”

When I first heard those words, I could hardly believe them. I had seen too many couples who once loved each other become enemies after parting.

Public accusations, threats, revenge. Why does a relationship that once began with love have to end that way? The deeper the love, the harder the separation. Someone who has dated a hundred or two hundred times may perhaps become somewhat used to breakups.

But most people do not experience that many relationships. That is why, whenever love ends, they sometimes feel as if their whole world has collapsed.

The real problem begins when that despair turns into anger and becomes a knife aimed at the other person. In the end, that wound returns to oneself as well.

Relationships between men and women must be handled with more care than business. This does not mean they should be calculated. It means they should be based not on one-sided sacrifice or concession, but on respect and consideration for each other’s wishes.

A graceful breakup is the result of how two people have treated each other throughout their relationship. The time spent loving and being together does not have to become meaningless simply because the relationship has ended.

I am not saying people should prepare for a breakup from the moment they begin dating.

But just because love has ended, there is no need to destroy the other person’s life. If this was someone you once cared for, is it not possible to wish that person well even when parting?

We live in an age when divorce has become common. If two people must part, perhaps it is also necessary to part with a little more grace. That is why I bring up this story again.

 

Woon Jin Lee

CEO, Couple.net

 

U.S. Representative Numbers

East Coast / New York: 201-678-8503

West Coast / Los Angeles (LA): 213-435-1113

South Central / Texas · Houston: 213-505-4259